Inspiration from this Episode 

“His takeaway from that experience was valid, as was mine, even though our takeaways were a little bit different.”

“What did we want to do if we were ever in such traumatic places again?”

“It’s okay to talk about it. It’s okay to feel it and to relive it and to wonder about it.”

081 | Us & Kids: A Trauma

Intro  

On today’s show, we are going to talk about trauma. Not many of us like to think about it, but probably all of us have it. And trauma impacts families, it impacts marriages and impacts us as individuals. And yet I feel like it’s not very often talked about even though it often impacts how a family and a couple reacts and interacts with things. 

Today we are going to talk mostly from the general perspective about trauma with a little bit of application more towards the end. You will hear some of the DNA process.

What You’ll Learn in...

Inspiration from this Episode 

“Remember that our skin, her skin, absorbs so many good messages about safety and about togetherness, and I’m there for you.” 

“She will reset not instantly but with ups and downs over the next few months.” 

“Because the best parenting here is usually to have some rules, expectations, to have rewards, and to have distractions.”

080 | Us & Kids: Adjusting to a Newborn

Intro  

So today’s show, we are going to talk a little bit more about the DNA process. We’ve been talking a lot about marriages lately and when I wanted to do was say, okay, let’s pay attention to those kiddos. So we’re just going to talk a little bit about one of your hopes and dreams.  

If you’re listening to Us and Kids, you probably had a desire to have a family, and that’s part of what that D is in the DNA. What are your dreams? What are your desires and...

Inspiration from this Episode

“And you’re going to say, I got to think about this a little bit. And both of you are going to take some time to get your heart rate down so that your brain can think.”

“I’m going to begin to understand that this has lots of layers for them in terms of how they think other people see them.”

“Give grace and say it’s okay and we use our adjustment coping skills to not hold a grudge or be harsh with punishment or discipline.”

079 | Us & Kids: A+ for Application

Intro 

Today, I'm glad you joined us because were tying together the last three podcast about upgrading your marriage so that it will last forever, while you also become more awesome parents taking care of your kids together.

We’ve talked about the D, defining your desires, and values. Then we moved on to two other podcasts that talked about the core communication skills we need for living out those values and ways...

Inspiration from this Episode

“And in those connections, we become more aware that the emotional self that we bring to the relationship.” 

“You see when we need to protect someone we believe in them. We are looking at helping them out in building them up.” 

“It gives grace when we have to have some benefit of the doubt.”

078 | Us & Kids: Necessary for Your Core - Part 2

Intro  

Today we are talking about the last three of the eight core or necessary pieces that we know to make the DNA in our marriage and our family life really strong and healthy. You and I both know our marriages are very unique. And even how our marriage was five years ago and how it is now also can be very different and looks very different. 

It's important that we know how to keep those values together. Not every marriage, or person in the marriage has the same values but learning how to value what our spouse values and vice versa...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Those connections through kind words and kind actions matter for the rest of what happens in our relationship DNA.”

“And that means that you know how to listen carefully and you know how to keep your own self under control so that you can continue to connect with those that are listening.”

“If you want to give all of that a little boost use some touch, hold hands, sit by each other, use hugs.”

077 | Us & Kids: Necessary Core Strengths

Intro 

Last week we looked at the values that we bring into our relationship and how those values build up the basic structure of our relationships with our kids or even with our spouses. So today we’re going to look a little bit more at the particulars that hold this structure together. 

This structure is in the particulars were going to talk about are important for your marriage and for any age kiddo that is sitting next to you. So this applies all...

Inspiration from this Episode

“When the stress is high, often kisses go bye-bye.”

“And when it builds up inside of us, our brain becomes anxious and can’t think well.”

“As you change your self talk, your internal thoughts can move to become more positive.”

074 | Us & Kids: KISSes & Stress

Intro 

On today’s show, we are wrapping up the last part of a 5 part series we started in January about how to stay married forever while you parent together - not one or the other. Today we are talking about KISSes. Of course, there has to be kisses! Eskimo and butterfly kisses, as well as I love you - oooh! kisses. 

But when there is stress and headaches, so much and too much! Who even remembers to kiss? And, does it really matter if we kiss? Really? Well, if you can take care of this kind of KISS, then the other kisses are so much better and sweeter!

What You’ll Learn in Today’s Episode

• How to...

Inspiration from this Episode

“My definition of explore is trying something new or taking something that we know and expanding it into a different area or place.”

“It helps us understand how our spouse thinks and how they move. It helps you build admiration towards them and appreciation for their processes.”

“Because it brings around such good interactions and attachments with each other that you can build on for years and years."

073 | Us & Kids: Explore and Expand

Intro 

We are carrying on with the series that we’ve been going through each week in January about how to have a fresh start after 2020. So today, we’re on chapter 4 and we’re talking about exploring and expanding because a part of building strong relationships is that the courage to be with each other and by each other to try new things to experience things together. 

Because it expands the way that you are connected so that if one of the...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Routines are really helpful even if they’re not done perfectly.”

“It’s a routine that helps people gain success and build trust and those things build calm.”

“Resistance to a routine is often because of fear and there’s not a good amount of trust.”

072 | Us & Kids: Routines Reduce Overwhelm

Intro  

On today’s show, we are carrying on with our series that we kicked off 2021 with. This series is about how to reset from the mess of 2020. This week we are going to talk about routine and overwhelm. How do routines help settle down the overwhelm and what to do when the routines aren’t working. Because it’s true, sometimes they don’t work. 

Next week we are going to talk about exploring ideas that help to expand possibilities. And how do we have more courage to look up and around and say what else can I do, where else do I need to go?

What...

Inspiration from this Episode

“We don’t even necessarily even care if you’re happy in your heart, we know when you smile it changes the way your brain thinks and works.”

“Lead into a space that is helpful and calms the chaos.”

“Our voice tells both our thoughts and our emotions so it’s a double power.”

071 | Us & Kids: SET for Calmness

Intro 

On today’s show, we are continuing on with a little book I wrote and just taking it chapter by chapter. The little book is about the five things you need for being married forever while you parent together. Last week we talked about intentions and how to make good intentions and be aware of what we are bringing into a conversation or relationship space.

So today, the second step to that is knowing how to reset so that you can get some calm. We do this reset by thinking and talking about 3 things. We are going to dive into these three things for staying and...

Inspiration from this Episode 

“It’s important to realize that in your tone and what your body is doing you’re sharing information.”

“Because just holding hands brought you connected even though you didn’t have a good solution.” 

“Pick the kinder interaction. Then move into kindness because that interaction matters.”

070 | Us & Kids: Intentions on Purpose

Intro  

On today’s show, we are starting out the year by talking about marriage. When we developed the Us and Kids format, platform, and later the DNA for Fun course, we wanted to really be able to encourage these two places in the same place. Because being married forever while you parent together is crucial to being married forever.  

We know based on studies that the fractures in a marriage come in the first 5 years of parenting, not the first 5 years of marriage. That is because in the first 5 years of parenting there...