Inspiration from this Episode

“Because it's physical energy not mental. However, mental injury and stress is true and real.”

“As you continue to build this positive thought into your self thought and talk, death of lies will slowly be edged out.”

“As he stayed in the present no matter how much he felt, he began to understand that the present was the safest and most sane place to be.”

048 | Us & Kids: Goals, Depression and Real Life

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about depression and how that affects our lives. Depression can make us feel really dead. Not like dead as in not alive, but dead alive but not able to engage in life. So our lungs can breathe and our heart can beat. But our brain can hardly think and our body can hardly move.

It's just not a fun place to be. No one wakes up in the morning thinking today I'll be depressed. It is heavy, and about it as impossible to stop as a car running over you. In...

Inspiration from this Episode

 “Every person has value, and their thoughts and reactions develop out of their own life experiences.”

 “For good conflict resolution, the first need is to check in with yourself - what is going on with you emotionally and relationally.”

 “If the engaged person ups the energy and the worried person ups their reactivity and anxiety, then you are going to have a dandy dysfunctional fight.”

047 | Us & Kids: Conflict Resolution

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about conflict resolution and what it looks like in parenting and marriage. Conflict resolution is a mouthful of ideas, experiences, emotions and words! No wonder it’s so hard to figure a way out of it. No wonder we want to just run from it.

Are you tired of fighting about the same things over and over again? What if we turned it upside down and looked first at ourselves, then at the problem and then at the...

Inspiration from this Episode

“What commitments will you have to adjust or rebalance in order to achieve your goal?”

“We are looking at the goal and then looking at the challenge to it and how to achieve the goal by specific steps.”

“You will learn how to better in prove your communication, and learn more how to encourage your spouse and your kids into making those are really good healthy changes.”

046 | Us & Kids: Goal Setting

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about goals and setting goals. We go into how to do that and why to do that, and if that’s even possible when you’re raising kids and trying to stay married. A lot of times our goal might just be to make it through the day.

When I think of goals we can sometimes think about sports and scoring a goal, but also what a team might have had to do to reach a goal. Communication, team work, agreement and consistency are all important aspects of...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Sometimes characters from books or shows can help a kiddo validate or explain their feelings.  And then you can watch how the character resolves his “too big emotion” situation and see what applies in your home.”

“So, helping them learn how to self-sooth, and calm down, or tone down their emotions is wise.”  

“I am important, I am valued, I am not a failure, I can help, be included, and play an important role in my family.”

045 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions and Kids

Intro 

On today’s show, we're talking about big emotions in our kids. Last week, in episode 44, we talked about the adult brain and big emotions. There we split the brain into spaces where the emotions develop and where the feelings develop. 

Today we are focusing more on the emotional space because our kiddos are still developing their brains and so, where we can impact, for better mental health,...

Inspiration from this Episode

“It doesn’t always matter where we start. It just matters that we start somewhere.”

“There are some personalities that are a bit more prone to having really intense emotions.” 

“Learn what your body is trying to say - from the wee whisper of tension to the full intensity.”

044 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions for Adults

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about feelings - a pretty normal part of our life. At some points over our life and even 2020, we have ones we don’t really know what to do with. Where do those big feelings come from? Some of us have them a lot and often, and some of us have them rarely so when they show up we’re thinking “Where did this come from?”

This week we are talking about our emotions and next week we will talk about our kiddos. When we understand some of the triggers that might put us into tension and emotional states, we can be...

Inspiration from this Episode

“The boat has a structure around it to help it float, even in stormy weather. Our relationships also need some structure around it to help it float - even in stormy weather.”

“As they grow in understanding your language and grow in their own language be patient.”

“Remember to be in control of yourself. Because as you lead, they will follow.”

043 | Us & Kids: Boundaries

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking all about boundaries. It’s hard to believe that half of 2020 is done! Do you just feel overrun? The kids do what they want, don’t want to do what you want them to do...and cooperation is at someone else’s house...certainly not yours! So, what to do?  

Do you just give up - Oh my and oh well….maybe we’ll reset next year? I am not sure it’s worth the argument and fight and tension. The easy way out is their way, even if it’s not a good...

Inspiration from this Episode

 “The bonding or the connections with your little one starts with pregnancy.”

 “It gives the two of you, husband and wife, a way to bond around this little one, and starts to build that base for the two of you.”

 “So they want to connect to your smell, your touch, your eyes, and your voice. It settles them down.”

042 | Us & Kids: Father’s Day

Intro 

On today’s show, our topic is about fathers. I know Father's Day just passed last week and so we just wanted to let you keep thinking about it. There can be a lot of pressure around dads. And sometimes it's important to understand “What's my role in this?”. So I wonder what do you think, is being a dad great? Is having your husband next to you, as the dad, wonderful? Or are you both as husband and wife a little confused by what's the role of a dad?

Some people think it’s easier than being a mom. Well,...

Inspiration from this Episode

“There's a hole in the bucket but for us, there might be a hole in our heart.”

“We often have to throw out seven ideas before we come up with a reasonably good idea and then that probably has to be fine tuned.”

“They're going to tell me about the hole and I'm going to listen carefully so that I understand it.”

041 | Us & Kids: Hole in the Bucket

Intro 

On today’s show, we're talking about a hole in our bucket. I'm curious, do you know this song? It's about two characters - Henry and Eliza. Henry has a leaky bucket and Lysa just wants him to fix it. The song describes a deadlock situation where the things you need are dependent on the things you currently don’t have.

My question for you is, are there decisions made in your house that sounds like this song. Is there one parent who always needs something done or fixed and just wants it finished now? Does the other parent always seem to...

Inspiration from this Episode

“What if there's a way that can bring in encouragement and safety and calm amidst the chaos of your home?”

“And sometimes, because we feel like we're limited in that emotional energy, we're hesitant to give it away.”

“So that you can bring some calm, maybe some gentle humor, maybe some reassurance that everything will be okay.”

040 | Us & Kids: Donut Day

Intro 

On today’s show, we’re going to talk about donuts. What does National Donut Day have to do with being married forever while you parent together? National Donut Day is on June 5th or the first Friday of June every year. Interestingly enough it comes out of the Salvation Army sending donuts throughout the camp during WWI, and the troops would enjoy a taste of home that brought encouragement and emotional support and joy.

Now you’re probably wondering, what does this have to do with our joy of eating donuts in our...

Inspiration from this Episode

“And what's supposed to have been built in its place while they dissipate is really good emotional bonding.”

“By using really good listening skills, along with saying what they knew was going on emotionally, they bonded and connected in even better and stronger ways."

“They wanted their compassion and care and empathy to be able to help them through the rough spots.”

039 | Us & Kids: D is for Divorce

Intro 

On today’s show we are talking about the D seed of divorce. When does this snarly seed get planted - and how can we weed it out before it overtakes our thoughts, reactions and relationships. The Divorce seed does not need to stay. Take a few minutes to learn how to pull it out and keep your marriage steady, strong and safe.

This is exactly the reason why I developed Us and Kids and the DNA for Fun communications course. The seeds are planted, often in those first few years of parenting, and...