Inspiration from this Episode 

“Look at your shelf with them to see what you can do to clean it up and to make it so there’s room to function.”

“The walls for us are really our framework or boundaries and there are times when those boundaries are sticky.”

“The emotions and thoughts you need can get stuck on somebody else’s attitude or your own attitude.”

062 | Us & Kids: What’s in Your Refrigerator?

Intro  

On today’s show, we’re going to talk about something that all of us have - our refrigerators. Ever think that it's time to clean your refrigerator? Every now and then, we might realize that our refrigerator has gathered a whole lot of crunchy dirt. 

And so as I think about refrigerators, I also realized that they have an awful lot in common with how we live our lives as a family and as a couple. So let's take a look inside your refrigerator and see what we find.

What...

Inspiration from this Episode

“As babies they need to learn to trust us humans."

“We then build on the way to build healthy attachments with other people around us.”

“Give them a little more affirmation when they try things. Give them room to try it and achieve.”

059 | Us & Kids: ID and Personality Development

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about how to parent healthy children - emotionally healthy children. This is not so much about the food that we feed them, although we know what we feed them impacts their moods and behaviours. And, it’s not about your marriage relationship, although we know that the healthier the marriage in general, the healthier the kiddos. 

There are emotional stages that a child goes through - well into adulthood too, that we can impact and as we do, our kiddos develop the skills that impact their character development and the way their personality plays out.

What...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Marriage is not a set it and forget it kind of endeavour.”

“Our very first question is around the marriage mindset. What do you think about marriage? What do you hope will do for you? What do you expect to get out of marriage? Why are you marrying the other person?

“A lot of times people get married thinking they are going to fix or change the other person, and they are often sorely disappointed.”

056 | Us & Kids: EQ, Marriage and Kids

Intro 

On today’s show, we have my friend and fellow marriage professional Mark VanDellen, who is going to talk to us about the six things we need for getting our marriage started well and keeping it running smoothly.

Mark works a lot with pre-marriages and new marriages and helping them get off on the right foot. He shares with us the key indicators that he looks for and identifies when looking at the path for future marriages.

What You’ll Learn in...

Inspiration from this Episode

“It’s not having emotions that’s the problem, it’s how we manage those emotions.”

“Move away from those seven big emotions, and move towards something more specific.”

“As a spouse it is part of your duty to just sit and listen, but that comes with the territory. Just sit and listen to somebody share their emotion.”

055 | Us & Kids: EQ and You - How to Become More Emotionally Smart

Intro 

On today’s show, we have my good friend and fellow marriage professional Mark VanDellen joining us. He knows all about emotional intelligence and we are going to talk all about how to become more emotionally smart.

This impacts our marriages and parenting in such wonderful ways when we use it well. Join Mark and myself for a great interview, conversation about emotional intelligence and how it interacts with both our marriages and our kiddos.

What You’ll Learn in...

Inspiration from this Episode 

“Living it is so much more different than reading about it or hearing other people’s experiences.”

“Your voice is calming, your voice is sweet and intriguing. They pick that up.”

“They're developing their personality and as they grow their little beliefs about themselves and about how they should live life.”

050 | Us & Kids: Top 5 Podcasts in Review

Intro 

On today’s show, we’re going to do something a little bit different. We have gone through all of our podcast episodes and picked the top 5. In the beginning of this podcast we talked about the first 5 years of married life and then progressed into the first 5 years after having kiddos. The theme seems to be the number 5 so we chose our 5 favorites to review. 

It’s been almost a year since Us and Kids became real. And part of our growth and joy has been in putting together a podcast with a printable each...

Inspiration from this Episode

“Because it's physical energy not mental. However, mental injury and stress is true and real.”

“As you continue to build this positive thought into your self thought and talk, death of lies will slowly be edged out.”

“As he stayed in the present no matter how much he felt, he began to understand that the present was the safest and most sane place to be.”

048 | Us & Kids: Goals, Depression and Real Life

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about depression and how that affects our lives. Depression can make us feel really dead. Not like dead as in not alive, but dead alive but not able to engage in life. So our lungs can breathe and our heart can beat. But our brain can hardly think and our body can hardly move.

It's just not a fun place to be. No one wakes up in the morning thinking today I'll be depressed. It is heavy, and about it as impossible to stop as a car running over you. In...

Inspiration from this Episode

 “Every person has value, and their thoughts and reactions develop out of their own life experiences.”

 “For good conflict resolution, the first need is to check in with yourself - what is going on with you emotionally and relationally.”

 “If the engaged person ups the energy and the worried person ups their reactivity and anxiety, then you are going to have a dandy dysfunctional fight.”

047 | Us & Kids: Conflict Resolution

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about conflict resolution and what it looks like in parenting and marriage. Conflict resolution is a mouthful of ideas, experiences, emotions and words! No wonder it’s so hard to figure a way out of it. No wonder we want to just run from it.

Are you tired of fighting about the same things over and over again? What if we turned it upside down and looked first at ourselves, then at the problem and then at the...

Inspiration from this Episode

“What commitments will you have to adjust or rebalance in order to achieve your goal?”

“We are looking at the goal and then looking at the challenge to it and how to achieve the goal by specific steps.”

“You will learn how to better in prove your communication, and learn more how to encourage your spouse and your kids into making those are really good healthy changes.”

046 | Us & Kids: Goal Setting

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about goals and setting goals. We go into how to do that and why to do that, and if that’s even possible when you’re raising kids and trying to stay married. A lot of times our goal might just be to make it through the day.

When I think of goals we can sometimes think about sports and scoring a goal, but also what a team might have had to do to reach a goal. Communication, team work, agreement and consistency are all important aspects of...

Inspiration from this Episode

“This nervous system is wired to look out for things that appear to be dangerous.”

“It begins with being aware that you are in control of your body.”

“Make a different plan that gives yourself a minute to think about it because anxiety is trying to protect you.”

025 | Us & Kids: Befriending Your Anxiety

Intro 

On today’s show, we are talking about all things anxiety! How do we get it? How do we handle it? What do we do when we freeze and can hardly think? How does anxiety affect our kiddos and what does it look like in them?

Our bodies naturally work to protect us from danger. Although the dangers our bodies recognize now are a lot different than they used to be, our nervous system still kicks in to send out that adrenaline. With all that adrenaline pumping through our bodies, we can be left with overwhelming emotions and feelings. 

What You’ll Learn in Today’s...

Inspiration from this Episode

“How do we remember? We usually don’t take pictures of the icky memories.”

“What can I add or take away that would make it okay?”

“What do you want yourself to look like over the next year?”

021 |  How to Clean Up What's Under the Rug in our Relationships

Intro 

On today’s show, the question is, have you looked around your house, your garage, or your bedroom lately? Have you thought, what a mess? I sure wish someone would clean this up. Well, I'm not here to help you right now with cleaning those things up in the physical sense, but I am interested in wondering with you about what do we do when we look around our relationships.

Sometimes the holidays in December can bring to light the tensions of the past year and things that have gotten stuffed under a rug. So let's be brave and take a look back, see what things there are to clean up or straightened up. We're going to look at it...